Life and Death

My cousin Spencer died in a car accident over the weekend and today I went to his funeral. Spencer was a very young father of two: his little boy is two and his baby girl is only five months old. His young wife, Mickell, is now a widow and single mother at twenty.

I definitely believe in life after death. I know that Spence is in a happier place now. My heart just aches for Mickell. She is so young and has to be strong for her two little children who need her. Luckily she has a lot of family who love her and will help fill in where we can.

His death has really made me ponder about a lot of things. I haven't really had time to sort it all out. My thoughts aren't organized well, so I'll just make a list.

• I would like to have "Families Can Be Together Forever" sung at my funeral. I am so very grateful that those lyrics are true.
• I want to take more family pictures and videos, especially with Brad and I. If something were to happen to one of us, our kids are young enough that they wouldn't remember well. I want to be sure my kids have those pictures and videos to help them remember how much we love them and how much fun we have together.
• We have life insurance, but I think we should get even more. If Brad were to die, I would fall apart. I can't even begin to imagine how hard that would be. I certainly don't want to risk adding any financial struggles as well.
• So often when things like this happen, we don't know what to say. I want to make sure I show that I am there to support and listen to others, even if I don't have any words of comfort to impart.
• Life can change so fast. You never know when someone you love could get in an accident and die. I want to be sure to show my family and friends how much they mean to me. I don't want to procrastinate playing with my children or spending time with loved ones. I can't be sure it's not my last chance.
• Spencer's brother gave Mickell one of the best compliments I have ever heard. He said, "You really brought out the best in Spencer." I really want to live in such a way that I bring out the best in others, especially my husband and my children.
• Without omniscience, it's hard to know why bad things happen. Certainly adversity can help us improve. Often our characters are strengthened as we endure trials. Struggles help us rely on our faith in Christ and help us learn patience and empathy. Hard times bring family and friends closer together. I don't know why it Spencer's time to go when he was still so young and had such a promising future ahead of him and his young family. I love one of the scriptures the bishop used in his remarks at the funeral: "And I said unto him: I know that he loveth his children; nevertheless, I do not know the meaning of all things" (1 Nephi 11:17). I don't know why Spencer's life ended so soon. I do know, however, that the scripture is true. Our Heavenly Father loves us very much. He loves Spencer and He loves Mickell. He loves their two sweet little children. He loves all of us. I think of how much a love my husband and children, yet it can't compare to how much God loves us. I know it's true; I feel it deep in my soul that it's true.
• I am so thankful for our Savior Jesus Christ who made it possible to live again. Through His atonement, my cousin's little family can be together again someday. I cried a lot for my cousin's family today. I'm sure they cried and will continue to cry much more. Death is very devastating. We don't want to be parted from our loved ones. It is comforting, though, that the parting is only temporary. Thanks to the atonement "the grave hath no victory, and the sting of death is swallowed up in Christ" (Mosiah 16:8). I will be forever grateful for that.