Gratitude: Part 2

26. Modern medicine. Anesthetics, ultrasounds, medicine, surgical knowledge, etc.
27. Indoor plumbing. We have clean drinking water and I don't have to freeze my patootie or smell a stench to run to an outhouse. We even have nice heated showers and an ice and water dispenser on our fridge.
28. Temple Ordinances so we can be together as a family forever.
29. Brad's job. He works hard, but earns enough for me to stay home with our children.
30. Education (formal and informal). Wonderful teachers, books, libraries, museums, Google search, etc.
31. Learning new talents and skills. Sewing, acrylic painting, gardening, cooking, etc.
32. Good health. We are rarely sick or hurt. We don't have allergies. We are able to run and move.
33. The mountains.
34. Family vacations.
35. Internet access.
36. Good movies.
37. Good music.
38. Cars, two of them!
39. America, the freedoms and prosperity we enjoy here.
40. My mission to Bolivia. I met so many amazing people and had many wonderful and shaping experiences.
41. Phones. I love that I can talk to people I love even when we're far away from each other.
42. My bed. We're so lucky to have such a comfortable king-sized bed!
43. Clothes.
44. Chocolate and ice cream.
45. Seasons.
46. Facebook and blogs. I know it sounds silly, but that's where I find out about the exciting events in many of my friends' lives!
47. My parents' happy marriage. I know so many who have suffered the pains of divorce themselves or with their parents.
48. Our garden. It's small, but I love the fresh tomatoes and raspberries, yum!
49. Cameras. I love capturing happy memories and having pictures to help me remember them (which is also why I have a blog).
50. Holidays. I love spending time doing fun traditions with family. Some of our holidays help me remember what is important.

Tender Mercies

When Brad came to visit me yesterday, I asked him about church.  I knew it had been his turn to conduct fast and testimony meeting and asked him about the testimony he shared.  He said he was grateful for the tender mercies of the Lord.  He was thankful that I was already in the hospital when the emergency came.  When we requested an LDS elder at the hospital to come help Brad give me a blessing, it ended up being the brother of one of Brad's coworkers.  Brad testified that small things can be a reminder of God's love and watchful care.

The phrase "tender mercies" comes frome the Book of Mormon.  In 1 Nephi 1:20 it reads, "But behold, I, Nephi, will show unto you that the tender mercies of the Lord are over all those whom he hath chosen, because of their faith, to make them mighty even unto the power of deliverance."
Ever since Apostle David A. Bednar gave his talk on tender mercies, I have loved that scripture.

Here is a short clip:



Throughout this hospital expeience I have been overwhelmed when I. think of how fortunate we are.  Here is a list of some of the things I've been considering:

• I am so grateful to live in a time and place with advanced medical care.  If I lived long ago, or in a third world country, I most likely would die in chilbirth and the baby might too.  Isn't that a sobering thought?
• Brad and I are thankful to have great insurance and a high deductible plan.  We would be paying the same $4,000 saved in our HSA if I had a regular delivery or if I spend a month in the hospital and have a newborn in the NICU.  Can you imagine having to weigh the risks of possibly hemorrhaging at home to save money or staying in the hospital and paying hundreds of thousands of dollars?
• I am grateful that I was over 32 weeks when the bleeding started and am now about 33 1/2 weeks.  If she were to be born now she'd probably still spend time in the NICU, but she should be okay. Women with Placenta Previa can occasionally bleed as early as 24 weeks.  Spending three months on bed rest in the hospital would be awful, but would be so much better than having a baby so premature.
• Most of the time my family and I have excellent health.  Other than my zero complications baby deliveries, I haven't ever spent time in the hospital.  Parker missed one day of kindergarten due to illness and that is pretty typical of our family.  When we do get colds, they're usually mild and we recover quickly.  Even now on my 7th day in the hospital I feel pretty good, but it does help me better appreciate the health challenges of so many.
• Our children are staying with their grandparents who love them dearly. We have kind neighbors who have offered to help out too.  I can't imagine what would happen if you didn't have anyone to care for them.  I miss them  terribly, but know they're in good hands!

There are so many things that I could mention, but that gives you the idea. I am so grateful for the tender mercies of the Lord.

Women's Conference

 Last week our stake had a women's conference.  It was absolutely wonderful!  It was based around the book Daughters in My Kingdom.  Each speaker was asked to speak about what chapter they would add to the book.  As I listened to their comments, I laughed, cried and was motivated to become a better mother, friend, daughter, visiting teacher, and child of God. 

Some of my friends and visiting teachees were unable to attend, so I took my notes and looked up the quotes and scriptures so that I can more easily share what I had learned.

 One of the most heart-breaking, but poignant stories for me was told by Sister Jolley.  It was nearly her daughter Natalie's 24th birthday, but instead of gathering for ice cream and cake, she'd be taking flowers to the cemetery.  When her daughter was 18, she'd started getting crippling back pain.  It took the doctors a few months to diagnose it, but they eventually found it was a tumor in her spine.  When the doctor left the hospital room after giving them the news, Natalie turned to her mother with tears in her eyes, "Mom, am I going to die?"  Her mother (the speaker, Sister Jolley) had no idea what to say, but she felt the Holy Ghost teaching both of them as she was given the words, "I don't know, but I know that Heavenly Father has a plan for your life."  It was a very difficult three years going through chemotherapy and spending so much time sick and in the hospital.  Whenever they had a setback or got bad news, Natalie would cry, but then square her shoulders and start smiling and laughing through life.  People would ask how she could possibly have such a good attitude.  She said, "I don't have a choice about whether or not to go through this.  My only choice is about how I handle it."  Her daughter died, but through this whole experience, her mother gained such a great understanding of the power of the atonement.  It's so much more than just saving us from sin.  It is what gave them the strength to go on when everything was too much to deal with.   It is what allows us to be together forever as families.  Because of the atonement, Natalie is healed, happy and her family's forever.

My life's challenges are not nearly as difficult to face as Natalie's and her family's, but just like Natalie, I can always choose with what attitude to face my challenges,  I'm determined to be better.

 The last speaker has six young children.  Sometimes she is so consumed with raising her children, she only has time to do "insignificant things" like fulfill her twice a month activity days calling and pray for her nephews.  She has realized, however, than Heavenly Father knows us and our needs and circumstances well.  He inspires us to do the things He knows we can do to influence others for good.  At different times in our lives, our contributions may seem greater or smaller, but nothing is insignificant.  In the Book of Mormon, the prophet Alma teaches his son Helaman "Now you may suppose that this is foolishness in me, but behold I say unto you, that by small and simple things are great things brought to pass; and small means in many instances doth confound the wise.  And the Lord doth work by means to bring to pass His great and eternal purposes; and by very small means the Lord doth confound the wise and bringeth about the salvation of many souls." (Alma 37:6-7)  

Sometimes I feel a little like the speaker.  I am sometimes overwhelmed by the fact that I can't even keep my house organized and sometimes I wonder if I should be doing more to help others.  It may be true that I could do more, but God understands my circumstances and can inspire how to best spend my time and efforts.

During the conference, the choir sang a song I remember from my days in young womens "Walk Tall, You're a Daughter of God".  I really love the lyrics.

So Thankful!

For family night a few weeks ago we started this Gratitude Tree. We've kind of let everyone add whenever they want, rather than one per day. My favorite part is that Parker and Jason sit and look at it. Parker points to one of Jason's scribbles and says, "Mom, Jason is thankful for Legos." Then he points to another and says, "He is grateful for Grandma too." Jason pipes in and says, "That is Grandma's head." Parker actually pays attention to what Jason says he is drawing and remembers it even days later.

A friend shared this poem on her blog a few years ago and I love it. It helps me remember to be grateful for even the monotonous, undesirable chores that come with being a mother.

Dear Lord,

Thank you for this sink of dirty dishes; we have plenty of food to eat.

Thank you for this pile of dirty, stinky laundry; we have plenty of nice clothes to wear.

And I would like to thank you, Lord, for those unmade beds; they were so warm and comfortable last night. I know that many have no bed.

My thanks to you, Lord, for this bathroom, complete with all the splattered mess, soggy, grimy towels and the dirty lavatory; they are all so convenient.

Thank you for this finger-smudged refrigerator that needs defrosting so badly; it has served us faithfully for many years. It is full of cold drinks and enough leftovers for two or three meals.

Thank you, Lord, for this oven that absolutely must be cleaned today; it has baked so many things over the years.

The whole family is grateful for that tall grass that needs mowing and lawn that needs raking; we all enjoy the yard.

Thank you, Lord, even for that slamming screen door. My kids are healthy and able to run and play. Many children cannot.

Lord, the presence of all these chores awaiting me says You have richly blessed my family. I shall do them cheerfully and I shall do them gratefully.

Even though I clutch my blanket and growl when the alarm rings… Thank you, Lord, that I can hear. There are many who are deaf.

Even though I keep my eyes closed against the morning light as long as possible…Thank you, Lord, that I can see. Many are blind.

Even though I huddle in my bed and put off rising…Thank you, Lord, that I have the strength to rise. There are many who are bedridden.

Even though the first hour of my day is hectic with socks that are lost, toast that is burned, tempers that are short, and my children that are so loud…Thank you, Lord, for my family. There are many who are lonely.

Even though our breakfast table never looks like the pictures in magazines and the menu is at times not balanced…Thank you, Lord, for the food we have. There are many who are hungry.

Even though the routine of my job is often monotonous…Thank you, Lord, for the opportunity to work. There are many who are jobless.

Even though I grumble and bemoan my fate from day to day and wish my circumstances were not so modest…Thank you, Lord, for life.

Author Unknown

We really are so blessed!

What the Eye Can't See

I love the hymn "Lord, I Would Follow Thee". The second verse reads,

Who am I to judge another

When I walk imperfectly?

In the quiet heart is hidden

Sorrow that the eye can’t see.

Who am I to judge another?

We don't always know what is happening in the lives of even our closest friends and family. My friend recommended this inspiring story. It is truly a reminder of the "sorrow that the eye can't see". It also shows that when we understand, we have a paradigm shift and become more gentle and supportive of others.

Here is a song that illustrates this same idea. It is inspiring to see how others have become better people as they overcome their trials. Adversity can help us develop patience, self-mastery and compassion in a way that we might not otherwise.

Hopefully we can all allow our trials to make us better and that we be more kind and loving to others...we don't know what they may be going through.

THE BEST EVER!...Seriously, THE BEST!

I have the most wonderful friends and family on the planet! I am truly convinced of this fact. For my birthday this weekend, Brad gave me the best gift ever! He gathered up fun memories and kind comments from many people I have known throughout my life. I LOVE IT! He presented me with it today and I spent the last hour smiling, laughing and nearly crying as I read it.

I am so glad I don't have to wait until my funeral to hear how great I am, ha, ha! Seriously, it was so amazing to read about the influence I have had on others and the shared memories that have stood out to my loved ones.

Something my mother said rings very true. In talking about me, she said, "Friends were precious to her; she would collect them and keep them forever." Friends are very precious indeed. I am not as outgoing as I'd like to be, but I LOVE being around friends and family. I cherish it! I feel so very blessed to have had, and to continue to have such amazing people in my life. I really hope to hold on to those relationships forever. Thank you for all of your love and support!

Now I'm excited to smile, laugh and nearly cry as I read all your nice comments again!

Forget Not

Last night was the General Relief Society Meeting for the women of the LDS Church. I was lucky enough to get tickets to attend there in the Conference Center. It is such a sweet feeling to be in the same room as the prophet of God! The meeting was wonderful!

Julie B. Beck spoke about the things that she would like to have her granddaughters know about Relief Society. She reminded us that the purpose of Relief Society is to increase faith and personal righteousness and to care for the poor and the needy. It is to prepare us to make and keep temple covenants and to minister to others like the Savior.

Silvia H. Allred spoke about charity, or the pure love of Christ. She focused on ways we could increase charity: desire, prayer, scripture study and service to our fellowmen.

Barbara Thompson spoke about the joy, peace and protection that come through honoring your covenants.

After the Relief Society General Presidency speaks, a President Dieter F. Uchtdorf spoke. In the seven years since he was called as an apostle, he has become one of my very favorite speakers. He talked about the tiny forget-me-not flower. President Uchdorf reminded us of five things that we should "forget not":

1- Forget not to be patient with ourselves. Don't compare yourself to others. Our weaknesses can be overcome, but this is a long-term goal and we should celebrate the small successes along the way.

2-Forget not the difference between a good sacrifice and a foolish sacrifice. Sometimes we commit too much of our time and energy to things that are unimportant. They are not worth the sacrifice. Other things are, of course, worth the sacrifice. Discern carefully what things will be most worth your efforts.

3-Forget not to be happy now. He talked about the children's story of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. When the people heard about the golden tickets, they were so anxious to get one that even a candy bar became a disappointment if it didn't contain a golden ticket. Sometimes we wait for our "golden ticket", the key to the happiness they always dreamed about. There is nothing wrong with righteous yearnings, but we should not put our happiness on hold while we wait for that "golden ticket". Don't fail to notice the blessings and be grateful for them now.

4-Forget not the why of the gospel.

"My dear sisters, the gospel of Jesus Christ is not an obligation; it is a pathway, marked by our loving Father in Heaven, leading to happiness and peace in this life and glory and inexpressible fulfillment in the life to come. The gospel is a light that penetrates mortality and illuminates the way before us.

While understanding the “what” and the “how” of the gospel is necessary, the eternal fire and majesty of the gospel springs from the “why.” When we understand why our Heavenly Father has given us this pattern for living, when we remember why we committed to making it a foundational part of our lives, the gospel ceases to become a burden and, instead, becomes a joy and a delight. It becomes precious and sweet.

Let us not walk the path of discipleship with our eyes on the ground, thinking only of the tasks and obligations before us. Let us not walk unaware of the beauty of the glorious earthly and spiritual landscapes that surround us.

My dear sisters, seek out the majesty, the beauty, and the exhilarating joy of the “why” of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

The “what” and “how” of obedience marks the way, yes, and it keeps us on the right path. But the “why” of obedience sanctifies our actions, transforming the mundane into the majestic. It magnifies our small acts of obedience into holy acts of consecration."

5-Never forget that God loves you. Your Heavenly Father will never forget you. He loves you. You are the daughters of His kingdom. Even when you feel lonely or make mistakes, God loves you. You are closer to heaven than you suppose. You are destined for more than you can possibly imagine. Continue to increase in faith and personal righteousness. Continue to seek out and help others who need your and the Lord's help.

Here is a clip of the end of his talk:

If you missed the meeting, or want to watch it again, look here. Next weekend the General Conference of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. It only happens twice a year and is a marvelous opportunity to listen to the prophet and others called of God to help us know His will for us. I can't wait!

Compassion and Gratitude

Like many of you, I remember very clearly where I was ten years ago, when I heard what had happened. I was taking the bus up to the U of U for an early class. As I was riding, another passengers cell phone rang. Almost immediately the passenger announced that a plane had crashed into the World Trade Center. My first reaction was that someone must be joking. Then I wondered how an accident like that could possibly happen. The bus driver turned on the radio and we all listened to the report. I was still on the bus when they announced that the second tower had also been hit. I couldn't believe that this had really happened, even though the news was showing it everywhere I looked. What could compel someone to have such a complete disregard of human life? What had happened to them to make them plan such a thing, let alone act on it?

I was very inspired by the surge of compassion that everyone seemed to feel. All Americans, and more all over the world, came together in unity and faith. This photo was taken when I was in Manhattan in September 2008.

Now, ten years later, I still feel for the victims. President Monson was a guest writer for the Washington Post today. One of my favorite parts of his comments is that "We felt the great unsteadiness of life and reached for the great steadiness of our Father in Heaven. And, as ever, we found it."

I am guilty of taking my freedoms for granted sometimes. I don't fully appreciate those who sacrifice so much to maintain it. I don't always tell my family and friends how much they mean to me. I get caught up in things that don't really matter and forget what is really important. The terrible tragedies of September 11, 2001 have reminded me once again of what is really of value and I am determined not to take it for granted.

A few weeks ago in church someone made the comment, "What if you woke up tomorrow with only what you thanked God for today?" I am so blessed! Thank you to all of you who make the world a better place. I hope we can all strive to be better.

Family Mission Statement

A few months ago Brad and I decided to come up with a family mission statement. We brainstormed individually and as a family. We spend two family nights teaching about mission statements and coming up with our ideas. Then Brad and I revised it and came up with this final document. That was back in June. I have been hoping to make our statement on wood, but it hasn't happened (yet). In the meantime, I decided to use Photoshop to print out something nice to frame on our living room wall. Here it is:

Now, we've just got to live it!

Beautiful to Him

My friend had this posted on her blog. It is such a great reminder of whose approval we should seek. He already loves us unconditionally, but it is sure a wonderful feeling to feel like He trusts us too.

Learning from Extraordinary Experiences

A week ago Brad and I were able to attend a dinner where we were able to hear a wonderful guest speaker. The son of Fritz and Gerta Hubricht (sp?) was there to tell the story of his parents. They are now 99 and 92 respectively, but the part of their lives that their son related dates back to World War II.

They are both German and lived in a city about 60 km outside of Berlin. When Gerta was 13, a friend (who wasn't a member of the LDS faith), invited her and her grandmother to attend an LDS meeting. The friend never joined, but Gerta and her grandmother did. A few years later, a young man, Fritz, moved into the city. He was an apprentice learning how to create lenses for telescopes. He was a drinker, a smoker and used bad language. The family he was staying with was unimpressed with his life-style. They weren't LDS, but they asked him to go play games at an LDS activity in the hope that he would stop his bad habits. Well, it worked. He investigated the church, knew it was true and gave up his old way of life. Later on, Fritz and Gerta were married. When Germany first invaded Poland, Fritz wasn't drafted, because of his skills making gun scopes. Eventually, however, he was forced to join the German Army.

Skipping ahead a few hard years, he ended up being caught by the Soviets three times. Each time they were about to kill him. Once he was able to just fall into a ditch and hide, once he had to dig his own grave, but was shoved into a another group of POWs at the last minute, and once he escaped with gunshots flying at his head. Miraculously he was able to get away with only hypothermia. Eventually he made it back to his family. Three-fourths of their city had been destoyed by bombs, but his wife and young children were physically unscathed.

After the war, Germany was divided and their home resided in the part owned by the Soviets. They were under communist control and had to be very careful. Brother Hubricht was a branch president for the LDS Church there and the Soviets were very suspicious of anything that was at all associated with America. There was almost no food available and life was extremely challenging. Fritz had a very good job making telescopes for the Soviets , but he couldn't get enough food for his family; it just wasn't available.

They were able to escape East Germany by dividing up and getting day-trip passes into West Berlin. Once they were in America-owned Germany, they were housed in a refugee room. It was one large room with 99 people in it. They slept on rows of bankbeds or on the floor around. After a month, they were able to get a room to share with only one other family. Nine months later, they got a 9x9 foot room to themselves with only the six people in their own family (Gerta's grandmother, Fritz, Gerta, their two boys and little girl). They were so grateful to have their own space!

I am fortunate in that I don't have much envy for things; I don't need a much larger house (I think to myself, "more to clean") or a lot of cool electronics or expensive clothes. I may not be envious, but I do often fail to be grateful for all that I have. I prefer not to share a bedroom with my kids, let a lone 94 other people. I am very fortunate not to know what it's like. Even when I lived in Bolivia and saw the true poverty there, I wasn't experiencing it myself. I didn't have kids at the time, but I never went hungry, unless I was purposely fasting. I can't imagine not having enough food for your children and them having to go to bed hungry. (I'm starting to cry at the thought!)

Part of why I wanted to record this story was so that we can remind ourselves how truly lucky we are!

Life and Death

My cousin Spencer died in a car accident over the weekend and today I went to his funeral. Spencer was a very young father of two: his little boy is two and his baby girl is only five months old. His young wife, Mickell, is now a widow and single mother at twenty.

I definitely believe in life after death. I know that Spence is in a happier place now. My heart just aches for Mickell. She is so young and has to be strong for her two little children who need her. Luckily she has a lot of family who love her and will help fill in where we can.

His death has really made me ponder about a lot of things. I haven't really had time to sort it all out. My thoughts aren't organized well, so I'll just make a list.

• I would like to have "Families Can Be Together Forever" sung at my funeral. I am so very grateful that those lyrics are true.
• I want to take more family pictures and videos, especially with Brad and I. If something were to happen to one of us, our kids are young enough that they wouldn't remember well. I want to be sure my kids have those pictures and videos to help them remember how much we love them and how much fun we have together.
• We have life insurance, but I think we should get even more. If Brad were to die, I would fall apart. I can't even begin to imagine how hard that would be. I certainly don't want to risk adding any financial struggles as well.
• So often when things like this happen, we don't know what to say. I want to make sure I show that I am there to support and listen to others, even if I don't have any words of comfort to impart.
• Life can change so fast. You never know when someone you love could get in an accident and die. I want to be sure to show my family and friends how much they mean to me. I don't want to procrastinate playing with my children or spending time with loved ones. I can't be sure it's not my last chance.
• Spencer's brother gave Mickell one of the best compliments I have ever heard. He said, "You really brought out the best in Spencer." I really want to live in such a way that I bring out the best in others, especially my husband and my children.
• Without omniscience, it's hard to know why bad things happen. Certainly adversity can help us improve. Often our characters are strengthened as we endure trials. Struggles help us rely on our faith in Christ and help us learn patience and empathy. Hard times bring family and friends closer together. I don't know why it Spencer's time to go when he was still so young and had such a promising future ahead of him and his young family. I love one of the scriptures the bishop used in his remarks at the funeral: "And I said unto him: I know that he loveth his children; nevertheless, I do not know the meaning of all things" (1 Nephi 11:17). I don't know why Spencer's life ended so soon. I do know, however, that the scripture is true. Our Heavenly Father loves us very much. He loves Spencer and He loves Mickell. He loves their two sweet little children. He loves all of us. I think of how much a love my husband and children, yet it can't compare to how much God loves us. I know it's true; I feel it deep in my soul that it's true.
• I am so thankful for our Savior Jesus Christ who made it possible to live again. Through His atonement, my cousin's little family can be together again someday. I cried a lot for my cousin's family today. I'm sure they cried and will continue to cry much more. Death is very devastating. We don't want to be parted from our loved ones. It is comforting, though, that the parting is only temporary. Thanks to the atonement "the grave hath no victory, and the sting of death is swallowed up in Christ" (Mosiah 16:8). I will be forever grateful for that.

I'd Probably Squander It

We had ward conference today at church. Our bishop was one of the speakers and some of the things he said really gave me pause to think. He started out talking about the parable of the talents in the Matthew 25. The first servant received five talents, the second two and the third one. The first two are "good and faithful servants". They double their talents through their wise stewardship and industry. The third sevant was "slothful" and buried his talent in the earth. If you are like me, I've heard this parable dozens of times. Our great bishop pointed out a few things that I haven't ever thought about before.

He asked us if we had ever wished for more time, money or energy. (Parker actually raised his hand. He was coloring and I hadn't realized he was even listening, but apparently he was. We were right at the front, so everyone could see little Parker with his hand raised in sacrament meeting. Ha, ha.) Of course most of us have often wished for more time, money and energy. Then he said that sometimes he fails to use the resources he has very well. I do that too. I started to think that if I were granted more time, money and energy, I would probably squander much of it. I'd like to think that I would help others, but I'm really afraid I wouldn't. I might just spend it on myself. That would not bode well with my desire to be a "good and faithful servant". It's certainly something to think about.

Honesty Can Be Hard

Parker had a tough lesson on honesty and repentance over the last couple days.

Yesterday morning I found a bunch of plastic size rings in a pile by his bed. We had gone to the store the day before and I'd seen those all over the floor there. Apparently so had Parker. We had a little discussion about ownership and how if you take something without asking or paying for it, it is called stealing. I told him we'd be returning to the store so that he could return them and apologize. He also had a little chat with Daddy. Parker absolutely hates disappointing his dad, so he was in tears as he explained what he had done. Because this was a first offense (we hope), returning the items and apologizing was the extent of his consequences. He was very nervous to go back into the store, but was brave and apologized very well. Afterwards I asked him how he felt. He said he was "very happy". It was an opportunity to help him recognize the Holy Ghost and the peace that comes when we choose the right. I am so proud of Parker for how well he corrected his mistakes. Hopefully we can all strive for that "very happy" feeling.

Troubling Inspiration

I recently finished reading the book Half the Sky: Turning Oppression into Opportunity for Women Worldwide by husband and wife team Nicholas D. Kristof and Sheryl Wu Dunn. I am deeply conflicted about this book. It is filled with stories of women who have suffered greatly and those who have triumphed greatly. Many of the women have done both. Some of the accounts involve female infanticide, kidnapped women who were sold into brothels, women who had no prenatal care and developed fistulas, women who were raped and other horrific things. What is most troubling is that these are not isolated events, but examples of widespread abuses. It's heartbreaking that so many people suffer because of culture or ignorance. It is certainly not a book for the faint of heart.

That said, however, it is a deeply inspirational book. Yes it details many of the problems in the developing world, but it also proposes solutions. It tells of women who have built hopitals and schools, women who have created microlending businesses and women and men who have given of themselves to better the lives of others. It is extremely motivational and it would be difficult to read this book and sit by and do nothing.

I love that this book describes many of the aid projects and evaluates their effectiveness. It provides information on how to find out what charities are available and how to find evaluations yourself at www.charitynavigator.org. It includes charities that allow you to give of your time or energy and not just your money.

The authors have a website that includes most of the charities they highlight in the book. Also, the last few pages of the book is a section entitled "What You Can Do in the Next Ten Minutes". It includes things like browsing charity projects on www.globalgiving.org and microlending projects on www.kiva.org. The website also includes some of the stories of the women in the book.

Even before I was halfway though the book I felt absolutely compelled to donate to something to help others. I decided to donate to the Perpetual Education Fund because I wanted it to be a charity that helps people help themselves and then lift those around them.

Because of the troubling content of this book, I cannot recommend it to everyone. I do hope, however, that you will be inspired to help others in whatever way you can. I know that I have been changed by Half the Sky and will continue to look for ways to help.

Evening with Greg Mortenson

Many of you may be familiar with Greg Mortenson. Maybe you've read his books or seen him on the "Pass It On" billboard. I read Three Cups of Tea: One Man's Mission to Promote peace... One School at a Time over a year ago and loved it! Again a few months ago, when I read Stones into Schools: Promoting Peace with Books, Not Bombs, in Afganistan and Pakistan, I raved about Greg Mortenson and all the good he was doing.For those of you who haven't read his books, Greg was a mountain climber who was climbing K2. He lost his way on the way down and stumbled into a tiny village called Korphe, Pakistan. He was very sick and they nursed him back to health. He wanted to find a way to repay them for their kindness. When he asked what he could do, they said what they most wanted was a school. The village children gathered to study five days a week, but they could only pay the teacher to come three days a week. It was very cold there at so high an altitude, but the children would study in the dirt or snow. Greg promised to do what he could to build a school. He returned to the United States and tried to raise funds. He sent letters to celebrities, but without much luck. He was asked to come to an elementary school to tell about his experiences. When he did, the kids wanted to help. Even though they were young and didn't have much money, together they donated more than he had collected from all of the rich celebrities. Anyway, finally he found a generous donor and was able to fulfull his promise to build a school in Korphe.

By the end of 2009, he had built over 131 schools that taught over 58,000 students in Pakistan and Afganistan. His organization, the Central Asia Institute, works differently than many charities. Instead of just giving away money, they help people help themselves. They go to the village elders and discuss the needs of the community. If the village wants a school, they will need to provide the land, the labor and make sure that the students, especially the girls, will attend. Because of that, there is a sense of ownership in each school. The villagers helped build it so they don't just feel like a charity project. There are a few things I LOVE about what Greg Mortenson is doing. On the front cover of his first book is a quote from Tom Brokaw, "Proof that one ordinary person, with the right combination of character and determination, really can change the world." Greg Mortenson really is one of those Mother Teresa-kind of people. I love that ONE PERSON REALLY CAN MAKE A HUGE DIFFERENCE. I also love that those school children showed that WE CAN ACCOMPLISH SO MUCH GOOD WHEN WE WORK TOGETHER EVEN IF WE EACH CONTRIBUTE ONLY A LITTLE. The third thing I love about his work is that he HELPS PEOPLE HELP THEMSELVES. He allows them the satisfaction that comes from sacrificing and working hard for something worthwhile. You can't get that if things are just given to you.On Friday night Brad's parents came up to watch the kids and we headed out to his MBA gala to listen to Greg Mortenson speak. In spite of my ranting and raving about Greg Mortenson and his books, Brad hadn't felt like it was worth his time to read the books for himself. That is, until he heard him speak. Now he is anxious to read our newly signed copy of Three Cups of Tea. Yes, after the presentation I waited in line to have our book signed. Luckily I was near the front and waited only about 30 minutes. The line was super-long behind me. I bet he was there past midnight signing. Despite the long line, he was very personable and talked to me while he signed. He asked if we had children and when I said three, he gave us Listen to the Wind as well as the juvenile version of his book signed to Parker, Jason and Liesel.

While I was waiting in line, one of the Weber State journalists interviewed Brad about Greg Mortenson and also about his MBA experience. He was quoted in Monday's edition of The Signpost, Weber's Student Newspaper. Brad said, "I've been really inspired. I think maybe my choices as far as electives in the MBA program might change a bit about what he said about making a difference. It feels good to make a difference. if you can't do anything to make a difference in this world, with your skills or whatever you're doing, then it really seems like there's not much purpose to just living to die without having done something for someone else." Here's a copy of the article with Brad's quotes highlighted:

Anyway, if you haven't yet read his books, I highly recommend them. They're inspirational and fascinating reading. Now I've just got to figure out how best to make a difference in the lives of others.

Expecting the Best

I love General Conference weekend! For those not of our faith, twice a year we get to hear messages from the prophet and other leaders of the Church. That is this upcoming weekend. The messages are given from the Conference Center in Salt Lake City and broadcast on television, radio and on the internet. They will also be printed in Church magazines next month. The women and men of the church each get a special session especially targeted for them. Ours was last Saturday and I really enjoyed it. I especially liked the message from our prophet, Thomas S. Monson. Here is an excerpt from his talk, entitled "Charity Never Faileth":

"Tonight, however, I have in mind the charity that manifests itself when we are tolerant of others and lenient toward their actions, the kind of charity that forgives, the kind of charity that is patient.
I have in mind the charity that impels us to be sympathetic, compassionate, and merciful, not only in times of sickness and affliction and distress but also in times of weakness or error on the part of others.
There is a serious need for the charity that gives attention to those who are unnoticed, hope to those who are discouraged, aid to those who are afflicted. True charity is love in action. The need for charity is everywhere...
Charity is having patience with someone who has let us down. It is resisting the impulse to become offended easily. It is accepting weaknesses and shortcomings. It is accepting people as they truly are. It is looking beyond physical appearances to attributes that will not dim through time. It is resisting the impulse to categorize others...
Rather than being judgmental and critical of each other, may we have the pure love of Christ for our fellow travelers in this journey through life. May we recognize that each one is doing her best to deal with the challenges which come her way, and may we strive to do our best to help out."

It isn't that I personally struggle a lot with judging or feeling judged. I'm afraid it happens, but hopefully not much. What I love about this talk, is the idea of assuming the best in others. We don't always know the struggles of others. I strive to think the best of others and love the reminder to do so. One of my all-time favorite quotes is on this very subject. Marvin J. Ashton observed,

"Perhaps the greatest charity comes when we are kind to each other, when we don't judge or categorize someone else, when we simply give each other the benefit of the doubt or remain quiet. Charity is accepting someone's differences, weaknesses, and shortcomings; having patience with someone who has let us down; or resisting the impulse to become offended when someone doesn't handle something the way we might have hoped. Charity is refusing to take advantage of another's weakness and being willing to forgive someone who has hurt us. Charity is expecting the best of each other."

I am determined to be better about assuming the best in others. I am even more determined to try to help others. I love being motivated to improve and can't wait for more of that this weekend!

Day of Service

A week ago our stake had a day of service. They had lots of different projects to choose from, along with service activities for the primary and a nursery. Some of the projects were pruning a community garden, raising headstones in the cemetery, tying quilts and cleaning up beside the highway. Brad and I signed up for that last one. I just swept the sidewalks, but everyone was hard at work trimming, digging, cleaning up garbage, etc. The road really looks so much better now!

Parker helped clean up the high school grounds and then assembled school kits for the Humanitarian Center. Afterwards they had a catered Mexican Fiesta complete with a Mariachi band. I really appreciated the opportunity to serve. My dad is a great example to me of service. For the past decade at least he has served multiple hours a week. He used to volunteer helping to tutor in underprivileged classrooms and for the last several years he has tutored adults learning English as a second language. He's very faithful about it and I admire him greatly for it. With children, however, it's hard to find the time to serve more than donating money or making the occasional meal for a neighbor. In a way that's what I do much of the day- serve, but mostly just my family. There is so much need out there. I need to be more creative about finding ways to help others. I certainly enjoyed this church activity.

The Joy (and Trial) of Motherhood

I love my job as a mother! It certainly isn't always an easy one, but I love those special moments when when you feel very rewarded. Last night I had one on those special moments. I wish Brad would have been home to witness it too or that I could have recorded it somehow, but this retelling will have to suffice.

I was sitting in our rocker with both boys on what's left of my lap. We had just finished reading a few books and I started singing them a few songs to calm them down for bed. As I was singing, "I Am a Child of God", Jason started "singing" along. Of course he doesn't sing the words or even the tune; he just sings nonsense. Parker thought that it was funny and started giggling. Then Jason started laughing hysterically. Jason would sing for a second and then both boys would laugh. They kept this up for the rest of the song and throughout the next as well; so much for calming them down. Even though they were acting like little rascals instead of getting ready for bed, I just loved that moment.

Today when I turned on the computer, I found this new video clip on Motherhood that fits perfectly with those special moments. . .well, and all of the ups and downs of motherhood:

Good Things to Come

I have mentioned before that I really like the Mormon Messages that the Church produces. So often they remind me of talks that I heard, but haven't come to mind in a long time. "Good Things to Come" which features Elder Jeffrey R. Holland relating a personal experience is an example of a talk that stood out to me at the time I heard it and am so glad to be reminded of it.

Actually these days I feel like I'm enjoying good things now. It's not that everything in life is perfect. It never can be while in this life. That said, I feel like life is great. I have so many blessings for which I am thankful.

I remember my grandmother often saying that her favorite age is whatever her current age is. As much as we like to reminisce about the joys of the past or anticipate the happiness of tomorrow, there is nothing we can do to change the passage of time.

I've tried to take that wisdom to heart and make my present the best it can be. I still do remember the joys of the past with fondness and anticipate the happiness of tomorrow, but I certainly don't want to wish away my present.

Trials surely will come. I've experienced many and can't say that I've ever been problem-free. Good things, however, can come from adversity too. A few Sundays ago one of the women in my church recounted the experience of her sister, who had been suffering from a very painful and debilitating form of cancer. Her sister had said that, "Overall, this disease has been a lovely experience." That seems impossible that something that causes such pain could be "lovely", but she went on to explain that through her illness, she has come to see others grow better and kinder because of their opportunity to help her; She has come to understand that there is so much more to her than merely her physical body; Most of all she has come to know her Savior better as she has had to rely on him for strength. This illness has shown her how strong she really is and helped her recognize what is most important.

We won't all experience cancer, but we all will have trials. They may come in the form of something major like the loss of a loved one or a horrible injury or illness. It may be something just as scarring, but more private, like the inability to have children. Sometimes we experience our trials because of the poor choices of others. We might see others trapped by addictions and are burdened by their poor use of agency. Maybe we have something seemingly small, like not having a true friend, but loneliness doesn't feel "small" when you're experienceing it.

I know that our Heavenly Father and His Son Jesus Christ understand perfectly our trials. Even though they know the whole picture, I'm sure they weep with us when we are sad. Even things that aren't important in the eternal scheme of things are important in the sense that they are important to us. I know we can rely on Them in all we do and experience.

I wish that I could look back on all of my trials with the same wonderful attitude as that sister and call them all "lovely", but I'm not there yet. I can, however, look back and see that I am not the same person before and after the trials. Many have caused a Grinch-like phenomenon of my heart growing "three sizes". Through adversity I have developed my compassion, empathy and love. All of those qualities have helped me grow closer to God in that I am a little more like Him.

Still, let's be honest. I don't pray for trials. I do all I can to avoid them. When they do come, as they surely will, I like the analogy of Elder Holland. As a young man he didn't know what was in store for him, good or bad. Either way, we need to try not be discouraged. Discouragement causes us to turn inward in self-pity and halts our efforts. Instead we need to turn to our Heavenly Father and the Savior for strength and keep trying; Never give up.

Hopefully we can do more and enjoy life too!